The Bursting Bubble.

One day, I swear...
One day I swear I'll buck up and have the courage to say how I feel, even though it is already painfully obvious.
One day I won't have to hide my face and laugh shyly.
This is driving me near insane.
It goes away, then returns with a sick vengeance, I swear it.
And I know.. I know things wouldn't be right.
Or do I?
The truth is that I'm terrified.
I freeze up, it scares me just as much as the dagger of lightning.
So many things zip through my trembling mind.
If I could scream it from a mountain, I wouldn't.
All I can do is smile stupidly to myself until I implode and say something stupid.
To burst, that's what would happen.
I bury it in a box in the absence.
A lead box that I wrap in chains.
But to no avail, it seeps out from the box and back into my body.
Every inch of me, even the parts that don't exist.
Dreams, thoughts, actions, all of it.
Maddening, sickening.
I almost wish it wasn't this way.
I almost wish it wasn't there.
Cruel, fate is. So very cruel.
So long this has been dwelling in me.
Years, years.
The bubble is bursting.