Lonely people are always up in the middle of the night.

Honestly, how true is that? Its 3:13 am here, and I'm wide awake. Why?
Because I feel like I'm missing something, apparently.
Because I'm hurting secretly about something I thought I already let go of.
Of course, I never let go, I only bury. Que sighing.
The stage it set, the candles are all lit. Where are the players?
Seems I'm the only one in the audience waiting for the show of a lifetime.
Also, Why can't I just say what's on my mind?
What's been on my mind for years?
I could kick myself right now.
You would think that by now I would learn that waiting is not a solution.
At least.. I shouldn't be. I don't know.
Waiting is for lazy people, which I am unfortunately.
I wish I could find some satisfaction in this..
At least, other than one day I know God will lead me to the right man.
Not today. Not tomorrow. Not next week, or next month. But someday.
But I don't want to be lonely for that long..
The fact is, I suck at being single.
Ohhh, I am bad at it.
I need someone to hold me, someone to laugh with me.
I need that special bond that you can't have with anyone else, but my problem is that I fall for the wrong people.
And I haaaate it.
I'm so willing to give my heart away, and to love someone that I forget about the other way around.
honestly, I've never understood having a "fling" with someone. Really? That's weak.
I guess I've been ready for the long haul since the beginning.
that's all I really want. To love and be loved.
But fate is cruel to me, and I must remain alone for a long time.
And I know it has to be this way, and it will. No matter how much it hurts, I guess.
And it hurts.