So.. I don't want this blog to be sad. At all. If it has that tone, I'm really sorry. But I write this to kind of vent.. but more-so as a hopeful look ahead.
Yesterday, my boy and I decided it was best to just try and be friends.. Man, that's rough, right? Thing is, we were so serious with our relationship that I think there's damage that can't really be undone. Can we really be "just friends" after all of this? And for him, the fire died months ago.. and I didn't even know until last month. I was so torn up, but we didn't break up until yesterday. I guess I'm done shedding tears for him now..
But enough with the sadness. He's a fantastic guy, and he's gonna go make some lucky girl really happy. I was just glad I had him for a short time. But I know God has his plan for me, and if it doesn't involve that boy, then there's no point in being sad. I'm not even going to try and be naive in saying, "Well.. maybe we'll get together after a bit and find that we really did love each other." I won't get my hopes up. I'm ready to move on..
The pain won't be there forever. Sure, I'll be lonely. Sure, I'll cry. But not for him. Not anymore. I was ready to give 150%, I was ready to be all I needed to, but I'm saving my love for someone who can return it. Now, I don't have anything to worry about. I think.. I'll stay single for a while. I'm not going to resent him and form unnecessary bitterness in my life. No, I don't need that, especially after how far I've come.
He's a nice guy, maybe e can eventually form a friendship, but not for a while, I think. I'm just glad I have such loving and supportive people in my life to help me through this weird time.. And I know Jesus is with me every step of the way. It'll only hurt for a little while.
